Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: If we normalize it, we find ourselves in areas like burnout pretty quickly. This is a signal that something internally may not be aligned. If you are feeling resentment or dread where maybe there used to be drive and motivation, that's a really good signal to look deeper. I really want folks to hear is you've got to be able to name and define what are the values you're building your life around. So a win is not just I had a good day, I had a great meeting.
But specifically, what am I proud of myself for today?
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Hey there, billionaire. Yep, I'm talking to you. If you expect to live another 31 years, you're already a billionaire. Not in money, but in the real measure of wealth, time. That's because 31 years is roughly a billion seconds. But most of us waste time in ways we'd never waste money. The currency of time billionaires is micro moments. The 90 second to 15 minute gaps hidden between the structured parts of your day. This podcast is about reclaiming them with quick, research backed ideas to help you feel more creative, productive and alive. Welcome to Time Billionaires. Let's make your next micro moment count.
[00:01:15] Speaker C: I'm so excited for this. I've learned so much from you. And one of the things that I love is that you've talked about hitting a point in your life where everything looked good on paper, but to you it didn't feel fulfilling. And for someone who's doing all the right things but feels drained, I'm wondering if you have advice about the first signals that you help people look for to realign their energy with what really matters to them.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. I think so many of us, you know, really normalize dreading Monday, right? We even hear like Sunday night scaries. We have kind of normalized that work has to feel hard, work has to feel draining. And I really like to challenge that because I think if we normalize it, we find ourselves in areas like burnout or resentment towards our companies or bosses pretty quickly and don't actually realize this is a signal that something internally may not be aligned. So I think first, if you are feeling resentment or dread when where maybe there used to be drive and motivation, that's a really good signal to look deeper. Um, if you're going through the motions, just kind of feeling numb, just ticking the boxes, saying everything's fine, but not really feeling fulfilled with it in your days, I think that's another good signal to take a closer look.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Yeah, I think the concept of resentment toward a company is really interesting and almost a little taboo to talk About. Especially when I think people like to say, oh, I'm so lucky and grateful to have this job. Will you say more about unpacking? What's causing that?
[00:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, we grow up, whether we get these bits of programming from our culture around us, whether it's work, whether it's school, whether it's parental units, you've got to work hard and you've got to achieve. And so we have this mindset of I need to climb the ladder, I need to give it my all.
And we do those things and we are told on the outside that is what success is.
And when you are at a dinner party, maybe you're telling your friends, oh, work's great, you know, it's busy, but we're giving the shiny picture.
What I'm really curious about is what do you tell, you know, your best friend when you're having a coffee, how's work really going? What are you telling your partner or spouse? What is that story?
Because when we do things we think we're supposed to do, but we don't actually enjoy them, we don't actually feel aligned with them, that is a breeding ground for resentment. And. And so if you're hearing yourself talk about why just need to get through this project, this deadline, oh, I should be grateful.
I need to. Or a must or a should. To me, those are big areas that we want to look and see. Am I doing this because I feel drawn to it? Am I doing it because I believe in it or because I should? If there's a should in there, then there's a really good chance that you're either feeling resentful or you're going to be feeling resentful.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: Yeah. And I also think it's really easy to then think there's something wrong with you. I can relate to that. I have a really good friend I'm thinking of too, who was in a very prestigious role at a really well known, well respected company really early in her career and just didn't like it, wasn't happy. And I could just hear and see it when she and I talked one on one versus at these big dinner parties. She felt like there was something wrong with her. Why don't I love working here?
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Because we're told what success looks like and when we've hit that and it doesn't feel successful, it doesn't create happiness in us. We make ourselves wrong versus really questioning. Was that my definition of success or was that just what I thought I was supposed to do?
[00:04:52] Speaker C: Yeah, it's huge. And there's no quicker path to being miserable than chasing somebody else's definition of success.
[00:04:59] Speaker A: Exactly. Exactly.
[00:05:02] Speaker C: When we're thinking about big life or career decisions, what do you encourage people to do to make the best decisions?
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I think we really have to take a bigger step back again. Going to the shoulds, going to the climbing the ladder. Most of us just accept the promotion we're offered. Most of us say thank you so much when we get a raise. And we don't really stop to question, is this the path I want to be growing?
Is this really in alignment? And so what I encourage folks to really start to learn and cultivate in themselves, themselves. Are, you know, what are the values? What are those intrinsic drivers that matter to me outside the salary and the title and the company name? What actually lights me up? And am I living a life, work and personal, that is really led by those values? And is that next step in alignment with those values? If yes, you know, proceed and enjoy. And if not, then I think there's a bigger question to ask. Sometimes it's a micro adjustment, sometimes it's a big life pivot. But if we're not stopping and defining what our values are, we're going to be living out somebody else's version of success. So I think values would. If I could leave anybody with one thing, that's the thing I really want folks to hear is you've got to be able to name and define what are the values you're building your life around.
[00:06:20] Speaker C: I couldn't agree more. And you have a really great values worksheet that we'll link to in the show. Notes that people can use if they want some guidance on defining those, which I think is fantastic. And I know a lot of people who've used it and loved it too.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it's important. And, you know, values aren't something that we just pick a few words that look fun off of a sheet. It's really important to dig deep and define. So it's actually a pretty hearty workbook, about 18 pages. But I promise you, at the end of it, you'll be very clear on what those values are. And it's helpful. You know, these are not conversations many of our teachers or professors or bosses are encouraging us to have.
So I think it's important for ourselves that we. We take that space to define it completely.
[00:07:02] Speaker B: Agree?
[00:07:02] Speaker C: Yeah. And it makes all the decisions after that that much faster and easier when, you know, they're routed through values versus just being one off things to Then re litigate every time a new decision.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: Comes up, you've got it. Absolutely. If you have a filter and you're filtering for values, is this value led, yes or no? Much easier than making pros and cons listed. And what will my mentors think or, you know, my. My friends or, you know, partner think? I think it's really important to make, again, decisions that are defined by your version of success. Values is the easiest way to get to that.
[00:07:34] Speaker C: Couldn't agree more.
What's a quick exercise that you recommend people do to stay energized throughout the day?
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah, this is one of my favorite ones. I use it with every single one of my clients. A lot of them think it's cheesy at first. Most of them come to really love it. And it's celebrating wins, specifically celebrating our win. So a win is not just, you know, I had a good day, I had a great meeting. But specifically, what am I proud of myself for today? What did I do? What was within my control that I did well? And the reason this is so important, Rebecca, so many of us have. In fact, I would venture to say most of us have a negative bias where our mind is constantly scanning for where am I messing up? What did I get wrong? What's missing?
A celebration. Just even a quick check in each morning or at the end of each day, what am I most proud of myself for? Kind of resets that bias to look for the good.
When I am proud of myself, I'm most likely living in alignment with my values. And that helps us to just notice this feels good. My brain likes this. I feel better about myself when I'm living in values. So now I'm going to do more of that because I've set my focus there. So beginning of the day, end of the day, I think a quick wins. What are three things I'm most proud of, or three things I'm going to be proud of myself for at the end of the day?
[00:08:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I think you're so right. To your point, it is quick. This can happen in two minutes or less. And then we train our minds to start looking for more of those, too. So I think the more I've celebrated wins, the more I've realized there are wins to be celebrated and they don't all have to be big. To your point, staying calm in a tense meeting can be something to celebrate, even if there isn't something external to point to as a result.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I personally, I love to keep a running tab in my notes, in my phone. So you know, it's tangible, I can see it, I can scroll back through and whoa, look at all of these wins these months. And like you said, some of them are really small. I kept my cool, I said the thing I wanted to say. I didn't. People, please in this moment. But when you look at that compounded over a week or a month or six months, it's really powerful. And again, where you align your focus is what you'll start to create more of. So our thoughts create our reality. If we are being intentional with our thoughts, we're going to have more intentional work days and, and you know, work lives. And I think all of us feel more fulfilled when we're being intentional. So that's really the goal of wins and of values is every day am I being intentional in my actions and my words?
And if yes, I think you're going to be, you know, really kind of steering away from that resentment territory that we started the conversation with.
[00:10:21] Speaker C: So true. I truly couldn't agree more. And I think one of the powerful things about this exercise is the opportunity to reflect. Like you've said, if it's running in your notes, short term, great. Look at how much you have to be proud of. Long term, look how much you've grown. Things that used to be worth noting to you may be automatic now because you've built the habit around it, possibly because you were celebrating it. And so the near term growth I think is sometimes hard to track. And I'm curious if you could give your 20 year old self one piece of advice, what would that be?
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Oh, I love this question because I think all of us have this inherent wisdom in our bodies that society kind of trains out with all the shoulds. So my 20 year old self, I would just want to tell her truly follow those nudges, those things that pique your curiosity, the things that you feel pulled to, whether it's a certain hobby, a certain person, I really like the way that person speaks on stage. Like follow those nudges, that is part of your internal wisdom, that is part of your value saying there's something here important and, and that if we really follow those nudges, then we stay out of the shoulds much more easily. So really, truly embracing that inner wisdom, those little nudges that pique your curiosity, you never know where that's going to take you.
[00:11:43] Speaker C: You really don't. I absolutely love that. Is there any other thoughts that you want to leave our listeners with before we wrap up?
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I think the one thing I'll just point back to is it is worth the time and energy to name your values and really just assess. You know, are my days filled with these things? If not, that is the quickest blueprint to start to create more happiness. More fulfillment is truly linked to your values. So take the space and time to give that gift to yourself again. If you're not feeling that fulfillment, it might just be some micro adjustments and values will always lead the way.
[00:12:19] Speaker C: It's so true. The difference between where you are and where you'll be happy is often a lot smaller than we think. So those micro adjustments I think is great.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: Thanks for spending this micro moment with me. If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow table time billionaire and give us a rating to help others discover the power of micro moments. For more ways to reclaim your time, check out timebillionaires.org and follow me. Rebecca Shadix on LinkedIn. See you next time.
